Natural Responses
Most of us hate to be wrong. In fact, even when we are wrong, we find ways to convince ourselves that we are right. This can be justified as an entirely natural response. The problem is that, as Christians, we're supernatural creatures. So natural responses take us in a direction that is contrary to the direction we want to go as supernatural beings. Sometimes our supernature recognizes this and we can consciously choose an appropriate response (even though it feels unnatural). If, however, we supress the urging of our supernature, we allow nature to take it's course. This feels more natural but the end result of fallen nature taking its course is always separation from God.
Insight, while never sufficient to produce change by itself, is a useful motivator in steering in the right direction. In the interest of becoming aware of those natural responses that spring from us unbidden and, all too often, unnoticed, we'll think consciously about them. Here are just a few.
It is natural to justify our shortcomings by becoming legalistic. This crops up in every grace-based relationship - within families and within churches in particular. Everybody knows when they aren't being honoured, yet pleads ignorance when others express that they feel dishonoured. It intrigues me to observe couples in a relationship where one repeatedly feels dishonoured and ignored. When she finally screws up the courage to confront, he says, "What do you want from me? Give me a list of things to do. How can you criticise me for not giving you what you want when you don't tell me exactly what you want?" Of course, what she wants is to be honoured (just like he does). So out of weariness and frustration, she stops responding to him and he immediately confronts her for not honouring him.
The appropriate supernatural response is to confront our shortcomings and offer grace to others. Grace offers forgiveness before it is asked for. Grace moves toward others when we'd rather withdraw. Grace is supernatural.
It is natural to deny our spiritual convictions and respond out of the flesh when we feel threatened. This would be amusing if it were not so sad. We've all met people who claim to hold strong spiritual convictions throw them out and resort to natural ways of dealing with the stress. For example, some ardently oppose democracy in the church. They believe that Jesus is the head and those with pastoral gifts are undershepherds. But when the leadership does something they don't like, they suddenly rally support and start counting noses trying to convince the leaders that the position with the most support should carry the day.
The appropriate supernatural response is to strengthen our grip on the truth that we know, particularly the truth relating to pursuing peace, setting aside our religious observance until broken relationships are healed, gentle confrontation and humble restoration.
It is natural to justify our bad behaviour by pointing to the shortcomings of others. This is very common in sour marriages and sour church fellowship. In the downward spiral of bad behaviour, each party justifies his/her next step by pointing to the other's previous one. This is the exact opposite of "one good turn deserves another." While "tit for tat" is a natural response in everything from kittens at play to international relations, it tends to be destructive.
The appropriate supernatural response is to own our own sin first of all. The sin of others should never produce sin in me. We may have to absorb some hurt and forgive. Of course this feels all wrong, precisely because it is unnatural. But Christians are supernatural.
It is natural to attempt to preserve our integrity by tampering with the truth. When we don't line up well with the standards, we have a tendency to change them to suit us rather than to change ourselves. Marital faithfulness is a great example. At the wedding, couples do crazy things like promising to meet their partner's needs. Some time later, they shift from being obsessed with meeting each other's needs to getting their own needs met. So instead of following through on their promise (the original standard), they recalibrate their words to mean "I will do for you what I would be satisfied with." This, of course, leaves everybody looking around for a new definition of "faithfulness" in marriage and, all too often, it gets recalibrated, too.
The appropriate supernatural response is to check how we line up with God's expectations, not our own, or even that of others. (We'll always be able to find people who think that we are totally reasonable in our response, after all, there are lots of natural people around to ask.) But it is only in being godly in our responses that we can transcend nature.
It is natural to lash out at others when we feel inner tension. Most of us are relatively placid on the outside as long as we aren't experiencing too much turmoil on the inside. However, when we find ourselves having to decide between two things that we value but which are incompatible, the tension is likely to find release in an outburst of some kind. This may be directed at someone who is related to the tension we're feeling, but not necessarily. Sometimes, a totally innocent by-stander accidently pushes our button and we detonate.
The appropriate supernatural response is to release the tension to God. This is best seen in Gethsemane. Jesus' tension as He faced the cross was expressed physiologically in blood-like sweat. But inarticulate groaning morphed into the cry "not my will, but yours, be done!"
It's hard to be supernatural in a natural world. Everything works against us. Most of the examples we see around us support sin. The forces of evil prompt us to anger, withdrawal, despair and other thoroughly natural responses. But Christians are supernatural creations of God - born from above - possessors of new life. We should be different.
Ron Hughes
© April 2007
