Hanging Around Home Pays Off
Once they are capable of spinning their own web, most spiders set off on their own, catching their own food, and enjoying some privacy for mating. But the young adults of some species seem reluctant to leave home.
It turns out that hanging around mum’s web has a number of advantages for all concerned. In a recent study, it was found that solo youngsters ended up with less food on average than their homebound siblings. It seems that the bigger maternal web ensnares more insects. Also, the extra pairs of legs available help subdue prey that would otherwise escape. In this study only seven percent of spider youths on their own survived to full maturity, compared with twenty-five percent of those who stayed at mum’s place.
Spider mums surrounded by their offspring live significantly longer than mums whose kids have left the web. In addition, mothers surrounded by their kids laid their second clutch sooner, in about eighteen days instead of twenty eight. The stay at home kids do spinning, but not childcare if mum lays a new clutch.
For some species of spider it is a good thing that the youngsters delay their independence because just before they leave, these ungrateful kids actually eat their mother!
So next time you are worrying about the empty nest syndrome, remember that at least in the spider realm, stay at home kids have advantages.
It’s incredible to think of the complexity of family systems. We can be glad that we are not living in the same kind of relationships as spiders have. I mean, when the time comes to launch my kids into independent adulthood and prepare their send-off meal, I don’t expect to be dessert!
Yet all societies have some family structure. Families provide for basic needs such as protection, training, and nourishment. Yet they typically go far beyond meeting simple physical survival needs. Families also give us a sense of love and belonging, of identity and self-worth. It is also possible for them to fail to offer these emotional, psychological and social needs. Human families are human institutions after all, and are subject to human frailties. Families are important, even if they aren’t ideal.
Although it’s possible to survive without the connectedness of family or similar support networks, it is challenging and less than optimum. Much of our sense of who were are is mirrored to us by significant others. It seems that we were meant for relationship. Psychologists say that as humans we have a drive toward relationship. We bond with parental figures early on and then expand our repertoire to siblings, relatives and friends. Likely we go on to establish our own families and continue the chain of life. Our identity is, in large measure, defined within the context of our relationships with others.
Although psychologists say that as humans we have a drive toward relationship, theologians take that one step further. They say that we have a relational drive, not only to our fellow humans, but also towards God. Our hearts search for something bigger, something outside of ourselves which we can relate to and even worship. A philosopher and theologian of late antiquity stated that our souls are restless until they have found their rest in God who made us for Himself.
It does seem as though humanity is on a quest. We look for spiritual homes. We search for ultimate relationships. And we need to know that these are worth believing in because they really reflect the truth about the way things are. Where is your quest leading you? Will your spiritual home provide protection against the onslaught of life’s events? nourishment for your soul? training in the way to live on earth? satisfaction, love, worth and a sense of belonging?
Dr. David Humphreys and Debbie Hughes
© August 2004
